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Reggie Melrose PhD.
Whether you are a parent or a teacher, there are 5 things you could
be doing right now to help a child who has been shaken by a crisis, too
much stress, or trauma. The goal is always to restore a greater sense
of balance and ease in the child’s nervous system so he or she can be
fully present to learn and behave adaptively.
1) Foster a compassionate RELATIONSHIP that communicates, “We will get through this together.”
2) Create relative SAFETY with consistent rules and regulations that
are posted and/or reviewed with clear rewards and consequences that the
child can come to predict. Safety comes from predictability.
3) Involve the child in COMMUNITY, a place where they feel they
belong, where they matter and have chances to start over anew no matter
what.
4) Provide the child with multiple opportunities to experience their
own COMPETENCE. What they feel good at doesn’t matter, just that they
feel good doing something, i.e. playing a game, making someone laugh,
helping someone, making something from scratch, learning something new,
teaching something to a younger child, getting a chance to show off a
talent, skill, ability, athletic, artistic, or intellectual
accomplishment.
5) Support SENSORY AWARENESS by talking to and engaging the child in
noticing the sensations that are happening in his or her body, where
they are tight, tense, relaxed, calm, shaky, or warm. The body is
speaking to us to let us know when we need to take care of ourselves.
If you learn to do this for yourself first, you will be able to pass
on to your child one of the most important resources of all (please
read “Why Students Underachieve: What Educators and Parents Can Do
about It” to learn why all of this is so important.)
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Communication 
