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July 1, 2008 is the day that all drivers in California and Washington must use hands-free devices with their mobile phones while driving. This leaves us with several choices...
We can get an earpiece that slips into the ear and projects the sound directly into the ear canal. We can get a hands-free device that attaches to the visor of the car and works much like a speaker phone. Or you can simply leave your cellular phone in your purse or at home and not use it while you are in the car.
Either way, if you are caught with a phone to your ear while driving, you will get a ticket and pay a fine of $20 for first time offenders and $50 for each offense afterwards.
For more information on the new law, you can visit the Department of Motor Vehicles or Driving Laws .
Isn't it amazing how dependent we have all become on these phones? Why are they so important?
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Teens are at a transition point in their life. They aren't kids anymore and yet they aren't adults. The teen years are often a time of rebellion, experimentation and uncertainty. So what is a parent to do when their teen has severe behavioral or emotional challenges that create legal and financial problems for the whole family? Parents who have tried many therapeutic treatments without results are often at their wit's end and looking for any solution.
Earlier today I received a disturbing email from a friend whose niece has been locked away in a residential program for teens, where friends and family are not permitted to visit. These facilities use deceptive marketing practices to lure families of teens with emotional, behavioral and learning issues to commit teens to their programs for several years. Not surprisingly, these programs have become a multi-billion dollar industry where the children become vicitims. As these residential "treatment" programs are not strictly regulated, widespread reports of abuse and even death are common.
In October of 2007 a Congressional hearing took place to address the concerns about these programs. In April, two more reports documented the abuse and deceptive marketing practices that these facilities use. In May, Federal legislation was introduced called "Stop Child Abuse in Residential Programs for Teens Act of 2008", H.R. 5876 . Things look to be heading in the right direction to stop this abuse, however it is important that all parents are aware of the dangers of programs like these.
What would you do if your child were a teen with emotional, behavioral or learning problems? I look at my children now and in their moments of anger, I can see their pain. They need their family. They need to be loved. When they have problems, they need support. We live in a society where we cannot hold an adult against their will for more than 72 hours unless they are a danger to themselves or someone else. How is it acceptable that children are locked up for behavioral problems and not adults? Is there a solution?
Please visit our forums to discuss.
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Your children are not your children.
They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you, they belong not to you.
-- Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
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"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was."
--Anne Sexton
"It is a wise father that knows his own child."
-- William Shakespeare
"To become a father is not difficult, but to be a father is."
--Anonymous
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As we all know, spending quality time with the family is what we are supposed to do as parents, however much of the time life seems to get in the way. We have birthday parties and sporting events, house chores and errands to run, illnesses and injuries, blah blah blah. Before we know it, weeks pass and if we are cognizant of it, we look back and think, "I have not made time for my children, my partner or myself in weeks! My life is out of my control!"
Have no fear, Responsible Family is here with a family activity for you! But first, I want to ask you a few questions to get you thinking about what you want out of your relationships.
Communication is the key to healthy relationships
One of the first things to be neglected and one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship is communication. If we are not talking about our lives, our goals, our dreams, our problems with our loved ones, life can get quite lonely very quickly. Spending quality time with our partner, our children and ourselves is the only way that we can have a healthy, balanced life: mind, body and spirit.
Have you stopped to ask yourself if you are spending enough quality time with you, your partner or your family? Do you make sure to spend at least 15 minutes every day, one on one with your children, without television, phones, computers or anything else to distract you? Do you feel that your children know how important they are to you, without having to say it? Do you make a consious effort to show your family that they are a priority in your life? Do you schedule time for the people who matter in your life?
Activity to Strengthen Communication
One activity that can help individuals, partners and families with communication is a trip to a museum. I know it sounds kind of boring, but museums are wonderful places to learn and to observe. If you are an art enthusiast, pick an art museum or there are children's museums, history museums, cultural museums, aquariums, and more. Flip open the phone book to the museum section, pick a museum, pack a bag of snacks and go!
Once you are at the museum, listen to each other and truly hear what each person has to say. What things does each person like? Not like? Is anyone afraid of something? Intrigued with something? Does anyone have a story to share about something they see in the museum? Let each person take turns deciding which direction to walk in. Take turns being leaders and followers. Observe not just the environment you are in, but how your family members react to the museum and each other.
The main idea is to pay attention to how you communicate as a family. Does each person get a chance to speak, without being judged or criticized? If you notice that things feel unequal or that you have a hard time enjoying yourself, focus on that. This may be an area of communication that needs your attention. If you feel that you might need some professional assistance, don't hesitate to call a therapist.
Making a habit out of spending quality time with your family will put emotional currency in your family's bank account. If for any reason you feel too busy or that you just cannot figure out what to do on a regular basis with your family, we have a very exciting membership called the Relationship Planner that will be launching on Responsible Family in a few weeks, so stay tuned! In the meanwhile, try to follow your family's lead and enjoy being together! Summer is almost here and warm weather will bring a whole new perspective to family activities!
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"The best inheritance a parent can give to his children is a few minutes of their time each day."
- M. Grundler
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With summer approaching, many parents are looking for ways to keep the kids entertained and cool this summer. Visit any large retailer and you are likely to find a series of inflatable pools with attached rocket squirt guns, slides and all kinds of fun features for kids. Inflatable pools seem more like floats than pools, but have you ever wondered how safe they actually are?
How Safe Are Inflatable Pools?
Recently, a Consumer Product Safety Commission Report revealed that the number of deaths in children under age five who died as a result of drowning in pools and spas has increased. Safety officials are not certain what is causing the increase in water fatalities, but experts advise that all adults with children near a body of water should tightly supervise children to reduce their chance of injury.
Meanwhile consumer advocates point out that the rise in drowning deaths in this age group correlates with the availability of cheap inflatable pools at big box retailers. Inflatable pools typically do not have a cover and certainly are not equipped with fences and alarms to divert children from harm. In addition, inflatable pools often have pliable sides or soft covers which invites the possibility of young children falling in. Consumer advocacy groups are urging parents not to buy these inflatable pools this summer due to their incredible risk potential.
To Toss or Not to Toss: The Big Debate
If you do happen to have one of these pools and your kids are extremely tied to it, relax. Just make sure that if your child does play in an inflatable pool that an adult is within arms reach and paying close attention the entire time the child is in the pool. If you need to take a break, remove the child from the pool and never leave children unsupervised near water. When children are finished with the pool, dump the water out in the plants. (Save the earth too, remember :)
Bottom Line
Children who are under 5 years old should be supervised very closely while near bodies of water. Even children that know how to swim can drown in a moment, so it is important for all adults to take pediatric CPR courses at least every 2 years and constantly supervize kids.
For more information on water safety, visit www.watersafety.org
For CPR instruction visit www.redcross.org
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This past weekend, we took our kids down to the Monterey Bay Aquarium to see the fish. They had a wonderful time watching the beautiful jelly fish, sharks, "Nemo", penguins, otters and more. We really had a nice weekend and I had a great Mothers Day. However, our crazy little 2 year old was at it again. This time, the car seat was the problem.
I am not sure how many of you know this, but our 2 year old is a modern day Houdini who can get into or out of any child safety device or restraint, including a car seat, within moments. When she hit 2.5 years old and was well over 30 pounds, we asked the pediatrician what we should do about her unlocking and climbing out of her toddler car seat while we were driving. He suggested that since she was watching her older sisters sit in booster seats in the car and since she was over 30 pounds and as tall as a 4 year old, maybe we should try a booster seat with the shoulder restraint. So, we did.
This worked pretty well. I say pretty well because this past weekend I turned around to find our little nut had pulled the shoulder strap down and was standing on the seat while we were on the freeway. I just about had a heart attack and am now feeling very uncertain about putting this kid in a car ever again. Maybe we will just walk everywhere until she is over 10. It would certainly be more economical and environmentally friendly. But seriously, when I started doing a little poking around, I learned something very important:
Children under 6 should be in 5 point safety harnesses every time they are in a car.
Grab the box of kleenex for this one, but pay attention to this little guy's message. It could save your child's life.
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Mothers Day is one of those holidays where creative gifts seem really hard to find. Some people stick with the old standby flowers or box of candy, which is fine. Being a mom who loves flowers and chocolate, I can honestly tell you that this is a perfectly safe way to go.
However, every few years I like to put some thought into my mom's Mothers Day gifts so that I'm not always getting her the same old flowers. Moms need to feel special and appreciated which is something I never quite understood until the first time my family FORGOT about Mothers Day. So take my word for it and be sure that you make a point of telling mom how great she is with a really sappy card! Moms love that kind of stuff. (Honey are you reading this?) Here are some ideas to help you show mom how wonderful she is and how much you love her!
- A gift certificate for a massage at a fancy spa
- A gorgeous male masseuse who comes to mom's home with his own table
- Home cooked dinner by a personal chef (and if that gorgeous male masseuse happens to be a chef, even better)
- Meal service delivered for a week of breakfast, lunch and dinner for the entire family
- Gift certificate for a mani/pedi (...or three, moms need pretty nails!)
- A week with a personal trainer (only if mom is into working out and this is her thing... Otherwise stick to the meal delivery service or something chocolate)
- A photo album of pictures of mom with all of her favorite people (scan the photos, don't use originals!)
- Did I mention the gorgeous massuese? Just kidding!!
Now, what do you think I should get my dad for Father's Day?
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Being a parent, it is not often that someone takes the time to recognize what you do and put a spotlight on it. I am always looking to others for inspiration and so are our children. In order to succeed in life, we need to model what has worked for others, right?
Today, we are fortunate to have Beth Feldman of Role Mommy who so graciously shares some inspiring food for thought about the role model in many of us. Welcome and thank you, Beth!
Role models are something that I stress often at Responsible Family Company, so when I came across your website, I was thrilled! Can you tell us a little about how you got started with RoleMommy.com and your inspiration behind it?
Role Mommy started after a chicken salad with dressing on the side lunch between myself and Yvette Corporon. At the time, I was publicist for CBS and Yvette was a producer at Extra. We had worked together on numerous entertainment projects and at the end of the television season, we finally had time to sit down and talk about our own dreams and aspirations. At that lunch we both talked about how we wanted to write a book about pursuing your passion while raising a family and doing it in a light hearted way.
What we wanted to show other moms is that they're not alone in what they're going through and that they are not only role models to their children but to each other. And so, at that fateful lunch, Role Mommy was born. Our events celebrate women at the top of their fields balancing work and family and our mission is simple: Helping your children realize their hopes and dreams, doesn't mean you have to give up on your own. While Yvette has decided to remain at Extra and pursue her passion for writing, I decided to leave corporate America and run Role Mommy and a burgeoning PR business full time.
Since 2006, the Role Mommy website has become a prime destination where moms can be inspired, entertained and informed. Additionally our initially self-published book, Peeing in Peace: Tales & Tips for Type A Moms, was purchased by Sourcebooks and re-released with bonus material in April 2008.
Congratulations on the book being picked up by Sourcebooks! So, tell us, what exactly are the common qualities of role models?
Role Models are passionate individuals who are dreamers. They do not believe in rejection or the word no and no matter how difficult things may get, they never give up. A role model also knows their limits and inspires others to be the best they can be.
Are there any tips you can give to parents who are looking to be a role model for their kids?
As busy as you may be in your life, take the time to have fun with your children. They are only young once and as much as it's great to see a parent who is successful at what they do, it's also great to see a mom play Guitar Hero with their kids; or be the team baseball coach or ice skate alongside their daughter while she's taking a figure skating lesson. Kids are inspired to pursue their dreams by their parents so if you're doing what you love, you will be the best kind of role model they'll ever know.
What are the benefits of having a role model?
It's always wonderful to have someone in your life who you can learn from. A role model is not perfect - they have made mistakes, moved past them and still managed to find their way and succeed. To have a person in your life who can be that mentor or role model is invaluable to helping you accomplish your own goals.
So, of course the next logical question is... Who is your Role Mommy?
I've got a few Role Mommies in my life. My mom Lenore and my two grandmothers who were both named Dora. From the time I was a young chlid, my mom has always worked. And her mom worked as a bookkeeper and then came home to cook a five course meal for her family. But no matter how busy my mom or my grandma were, they always had time for me and they taught me some of the most valuable lessons in my life.
My mom has always been there for me, encouraging me to pursue my dreams while my grandma taught me how to blow bubbles, make matzoh balls, crack jokes and even ride a three wheeler all over Florida. To this day, I still have a blanket that my grandmother crocheted back when we had a house in the poconos and I curl up with it every night. My dad's mom gave me the gift sarcasm - she could fill a book with her incredible zingers.
Who is the most common Role Mommy that you hear about on your site?
A lot of the Role Mommies who are featured on our site are mompreneurs who took a chance and left a full time job to reinvent their lives. It takes a lot of guts to give up something that is incredibly safe for the unknown. But in order to truly be successful you have to take chances. And at Role Mommy, we celebrate the risk taskers, the dreamers and the doers because if our children see their parents achieving their dreams, there's no telling what they'll be able to accomplish down the road.
If you would like to read more about Role Mommy , visit their fabulous site and buy their revised book Peeing in Peace! Enjoy!
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Communication 
